We all are looking for healing and comfort from something. I reached out and cried out to God and admitted my lack of trust or belief in God but still wanted Him to heal me. I had reached out to Drs and they could not deal with the underlying issues which is Fear, Stress and Anxiety without the use of medication or therapy. However, as I lay in chronic pain with a weight on my chest and my life being squeezed out of me whilst I was in bed when I was 21 I had already been to see the Drs who had given me Asilone Suspension which was to relax my muscles and allow me to relax and rest it did not work. I was drinking it but it was having no effect. However when I went to bed I was in so much pain it was incredible. I was feeling like I was suffocating. My baby of 7 months was in the next room sleeping. My anxiety was way off the charts because of what I was experiencing and the fear of my daughter being found in our flat after days if I should die in the night was overwhelming.
I cried out to God and asked for His help. The peace and sleep that followed was incredible. I had read my bible the books of Matthew, Mark Luke and John and had not believed any of it. However after that experience in the night I woke up and reread the same books and found that the Same God that had Healed the people in the bible had touched my life. It has transformed my life.
I can only go on my own experience of what gave me back hope and seeking to find the answers of my fears and anxiety became a life long journey of finding God and His great Love and Power. Not religion a connection back to God which has been my way of life since I was 21. I am now in 68 and am still seeking to Live Gods ways. Discovering His amazing grace and gift of life has been a journey I am glad I am on.
The more I discover about the Beginnings of Mankind and how Adam and Eve were when they left the garden and the suffering that they endured because of the choices they made by listening to Satan we have all done it, followed after ways that have led us to bad health, and bad situations. None of us are perfect and learning that Jesus had come to save us from ourselves and from Satan has been happening from the beginning of time.
I read my King James bible for a long time then I went onto the Good News modern bible in the 80’s to now reading the Hebrew Tanach and learning Hebrew to be able to get a better understanding of the meaning behind the words. The rich language of Hebrew has given me insights to the book of Genesis which I had struggled with. However as I have progressed I learned so much.
I have endured much in the flesh because of my own disobedience that I nearly died 5 times within one year. During that time I was standing before the Lord knowing that there was absolutely nothing that He does not know about me or what I have done, said or thought. I was completely dumbstruck because I knew that I could not offer any defence of what I had been like. God gives us chances to repent and live again and learn to change our ways. If we do not change our ways we suffer the consequences of our own making. We all have consciences and know what it is to be feeling guilty when we know we have done something wrong.
I read the book of Adam and Eve which really did open my eyes as how much God loves us and how much pain and suffering they endured after they left the garden and that they were told that every pain they suffered the Word of God would suffer when He came in the Flesh and dwelt amongst us. I was completely blown away by the way they had really felt the utter loss of the connection to God when they had been told to the leave the garden. Their constant standing in prayer and crying and repenting of the things they had done in the Garden. Yet even so, they still were led into situations which required them to cry out to the Father for His help and restored them back to their home in the place they lived but they are not allowed back into the Garden until all has been fulfilled. I found this book are really amazing book and it enhanced my understanding of Yeshua/Jesus suffering on the cross was all about. We do not fully understand everything he endured for us until we start to see the truth of the Word of God.
For me I reach out daily to the Father and I have found that as I surrender every part of my body, mind and Soul and heart, including all my blood vessel, nerves, teeth, eyes and my breathing and all my hopes and dreams and plans into His hands He is well able to Keep me safe. Because He has given us that promise that whatever you put into the Fathers hands he is well able to keep it. So if you have anything that you feel bad about and have not been feeling well, guilty or even nervous about reach out and touch the hem of his garment and cry out to him.
Say these words and you will start to discover the journey of your life take on a new path.
Jesus, come into my life and heal me, restore me and make me whole. I know I do not know you but I am asking you to show me your love and kindness and restore my life to be filled with your grace and love. Give me the tools to be able to pray effectively for myself and my family. I know I have done wrong and feel guilty for not being honest with myself. I need to feel your loving touch in my life. Thank You for coming to save us. Save me from myself. Amen.
I use this daily devotional to help me find my way
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